just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
