One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
