hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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