So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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