Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
