I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
