the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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