he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
