We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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