I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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