he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
