Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
