Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
