It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
