butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
