So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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