Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
