You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
