Ketchup is God's man juice
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
