And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
