Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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