What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
