did you get engaged???
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
