Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wanna go halves on a baby?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
