I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
