all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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