yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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