Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am midnight drunk by noon
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ate ashes out of my bong
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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