It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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