Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
