There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
