I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
