Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
