i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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