when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
