Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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