This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
