his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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