I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
