Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
