oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
