He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
