i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
