Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
