I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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