nut hugger
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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