Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
