I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
A+ Viking dick
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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