Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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