Banned from zoo.
Again?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
