Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
