Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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